Remembering into Becoming

For the life of me, I never thought I'd be here. Here meaning what they used to call a "midlife crisis". I never even believed that it existed in women because patriarchy. But...here I am. 43 yrs old, working remotely for a company that is still in the "boys club" era of corporate America while earning great pay with A+ benefits and yet...I am HATING every second of it!

So...I said "f&%^ it! I am going to do something about it!"

To be frank, I have always worked for someone else. Ever since the age of 13 (yes it was below the legal age of child labor laws but being raised Caribbean, those laws don't exist in our culture). Being an older [insert crying sad emoji] millennial, we were the last of our kind to be indoctrinated into believing in the "American Dream". You know the one, where you meet your significant other in your 20's after deciding what you wanted to do for the rest of your life at the age of 18, get married, have 2.5 kids (how does one have .5 of a kid is beyond me but we ate this shite up with a spoon and a smile on our face), a dog, cat and a white picket fence (which I have ALWAYS hated aesthetically). I always felt a tiny bit of resistance in my body when I was fed this delusion.

Left my mother's house single and unmarried with no children in tow to explore the world at 19. And like any recent High School graduate, I took a gap year that turned into 3 and failed to graduate college once I saw how the system was never going to work in my favor.